Read in your Language

When is the Right Time to ask a Girl out?

(Relationship problem by zyusouken91@hotmail.com)

Situation: The girl you are interested in has just gotten out of her relationship. You're wondering when the right time to ask her out. 


The things that you have to find out: 

1. How much serious was the relationship!
Why? Because if it was a serious one, chances are:
- Her ex-boyfriend will make contact again, if not now, in some time. It ALWAYS happens. 
- You could end up being a re-bound, which is okay if you are looking for something short-lived and joyful; but if you are looking for a relationship, you don't wanna be in a rebound. 
- If she was in love with him, she might try to contact him in some time, and this mostly happens as one of her secrets. You will get to know about way after it has happened. 

2. Her reactions. 
Don't go by her appearance. She might look really normal or cool right now, but might be breaking inside. Try spending some time with her, and study her reactions. Notice: 
- Does she get lost when you're talking about one thing for long. For example, if you telling an anecdote, a historical fact, just something that forms into a story, does she lose interest?
If yes, there could be two reasons, she is faking and is still disturbed. Second, she is not interested. 

- The normal rate of her smiling/ keeping a happy face. I hope you can recognize a genuine laugh/ smile when you see one. I am hoping you can. 
- Lastly, a depressed or mentally low person never talks much. She wouldn't make much conversation. Notice that.

Now, let's not be too pessimistic. Take some time. Give her some time too. 


The thing you can do is: 

Step I - Ask her what was the perfect guy she pictured. Whatever she says, don't wander around it. What you're doing here is, by asking this question, you open a psychological canvass, in which you can paint. Try to work this part of the conversation and not let it be spontaneous. You start like this, "You know what I think a perfect guy for a girl would be like..." And then you start describing yourself, but the only difference is: 
- With every quality, you give a background.
For example, " (Quality) I think appearances shouldn't matter". (Background) It's like looking into a beautiful lake or living in the mountains. A day would come when it wouldn't look as precious or beautiful as it did the first day, and trust me, if you are staying only for beauty, you'd wanna quit. It's human behavior." (Use terms that reflect intellect. Show her that you are insightful.) Note: Nothing impresses a girl more than an Intellect and a Good talker at the same time. 

After you've executed your detailing of the perfect guy for her. You stay quiet, you notice if she is chatty or quiet. If she is chatty, you're still a friend, if she's quiet, ask her out for a Coffee. 

(Post your relationship problems here) 


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