Stage I - Friendship
Obviously the bond between the two would be stronger than between you and her. So, her boyfriend can crush you anytime.
Point- stay low profile
It all depends upon the image you keep
If your image is of a smart guy:
- A smart girl may not even mention about your existence to her boyfriend, and discuss with you pivotal stuff about her life and relationship. But in this case, the assumption is that her boyfriend is very dumb and you are very smart/ smarter than him.
- But if she is dumb/ or her boyfriend is very smart; she will talk to him about you, and tell him everything as she is very loyal and discusses everything about the people she meets/ talks to. And in this conversation, if by mistake, you come out too strong, it will create a certain air of discomfort for her boyfriend about you. So that is our first problem.
Optional: You can keep a guy who is creating problems for her on the focus of her boyfriend. This way you maintain a goodwill in the eyes of her boyfriend, and totally change his focus too. Don't try to be a hero, keep away from all the troubles.
Step II - Be her best friend.
A guy never sees it, but the way to a girl's heart, the shortest way, is by telling/ showing/assuring her that you will never hit on her. And the sole cause you are talking to her is because she is the only person you have ever met in your life with such a pure heart (make her feel special by using the most overrated lines, yes she will buy them).
Now if you'll observe from a distance the hottest chicks are always surrounded by a company of same looking, constantly blabbing, pompous women, giving out the effect that it is impossible to be friends with her. But all of them - kept individually - are the loneliest creatures, and that is the reason why they keep for falling for guys.
Step III - Build a story
Why don't you want to hit on her?
Don't just leave it to 'Because I am a good guy'. Saying 'I am in a relationship is safe', and later on you can break it off, and hit on her. But what's the best way to get her sympathy?
A great emotional story; not like you belong to a vampire clan or something, but yeah movie type. What guys generally have to offer is:
- I broke up and it was really tough on me.
- We had been together for ___ months/ years, and she left me.
Now, this is what she sees and hears tens times a day. It won't get you any real sympathy. Unless your story is something like:
- I left home at 15, because I wanted to do something on my own. I came to New York City with nothing in my hand but my violin. The first three years were the hardest, and back home I lost my Brother in Iraq, who was also my best friend. I have been alone since.
- I loved her more than my life, (build the cutest story about how you met), and on my wedding, when she was on her way to the Church/ Venue/ whatever; she met with a Car accident and passed away.
Why do you build a story?
The story gets her strongly and emotionally attached to you that she'd even fight with her boyfriend but would never let you go.
Step IV - Whatever you are doing, You are doing great.
Don't for even a second get that you are a loser from the story above. Even though you are emotionally hungry, you are doing great in life. Why?
Because a woman can never relate emotions with financial standards. Why? I have no clue. Let's say they are bad in mathematics. So don't ever show that you are unsuccessful/ living in someone else's couch, if you are, show her a very diplomatic reason for it.